I have learned,

to find beauty in the ugly,

to find a flower in the ashes,

to search around,

 

In cracks,

for something,

that pulses with vibrance

that radiates the world around it.

 

I have learned to find the seed,

of love, in my hate filled heart,

to nourish the seed,

when the poison takes over,

to coax the seed,

when it is scared to bloom,

the forbidden truth.

 

I have learned

to wipe the tears away,

to let the sarcasm falter,

to feel what is numbed,

when you are around,

your words,

sliced until,

I was drowning in my own blood,

the scars were fresh,

on my skin,

but the blood is drained,

and the scars have faded,

easier to conceal,

easier to forget.

 

I have learned,

to leave my mark,

to paint my words,

smear my tears,

over my smile,

to let you know,

why my heart throbs,

why my hands tremble,

without moving my lips.

 

I have learned,

to drape the cloak,

heavy with smiles,

weighted with laughs,

across my slumped shoulders,

so I can cry,

under my hood,

heavy with laughs,

weighted with smiles.