January 24

Goodbye (Spoken Word)

2 syllables. 7 letters. 1 word.

Goodbye.

I have never been a fan of this word for one reason –

My dad.

My life feels incomplete,

Over, and over again.

For the past 16 years. The feeling will never escape me.

Sleepless nights. Pillows stamped with tear stains. Moody days.

*Pause*

 

Do you know what it’s like to be far apart from the one you love?

Being miles and miles away.

We take everything for granted – we are all guilty of doing this.

I want. I want. I want

You complain about your parents, though they are just a hallway away in your house.

Have you ever thought about just stepping back and seeing the many things you ALREADY have.

I’ve always been told from the very beginning that your parents are the greatest blessing you will ever receive.

Everyday I wake up, feeling a part of me missing.

The father daughter relationship I so wish to have.

But there’s 7000km between us.

An 8-hour time difference between us.

Leaving a premature relationship between us.

*Pause*

 My dad and I have a series of little games we like to play.

Wrestling in the living room.

Betting on how much the groceries will cost.

And of course I always win because I peek a little at the total amount, but my dad lets it slide for he pretends he doesn’t see me.

Holding my hand, and his arm around my shoulder – protecting me from the terrifying world we live in.

*Pause*

I’m told that I am a girl version of my dad. My sense of humour. My looks. My care. My love. My smile. – It’s all him.

Which makes me smile like I have won a million dollars, because if I could ever be half the person my dad is, than I have become the person I’ve always wanted to be.

The way his eyes shine that light brown color, only sending love and care when you look into them.

Reminding me of when I was learning to ride a bike, and I fell, but those shining light brown eyes were right there to take care of me.

He smiles so infectiously, making your worries evaporate into thin air.

Which makes me smile like I have won a million dollars, because if I could ever be half the person my dad is, than I have become the person I’ve always wanted to be.

                                                          *Pause*

Letting go of him, as he goes to meet my mom.

Tears start forming, but I push them back.

I tell myself I won’t cry, clenching the pain back as his figure gets further and further away.

My heart gradually breaking into pieces, with every step further.

He says goodbye one last time, flashing his million-dollar smile, and I whisper out an – ‘I Love You Dad’

*Pause*